Yay!!! I get to steal something from Auntie Kathy!

TECH-OLOGY:
Number of contacts in your cell phone? I don't have a phone.

Number of contacts in your email address book? What's E-mail?

What is the wallpaper on your computer? Trees that we saw while we were camping. It looks like this.

What is your screensaver on your computer? All the pictures in the photo album on a slideshow. Somehow, even though it's random, we always see mommies friend about to flash the camera...

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? There's a picture of Fang without her collar.

How many landline phones do you have in your home? None. Landlines are so twentieth century!

How many televisions are in your home? 3. One in the living room, one in the bedroom, and one downstairs for video games and working out.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least? I can't reach the counters. I don 't use any of them. I pee on the floor sometimes. Does that count?

What is the format of the radio station you listen to most? Daddy's Ipod!

BI-OLOGY:
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My Dairy Queen tail!

Are you right handed or left handed? I don't have hands.

Have you had anything removed from your body? Worms. And more worms.

Would you like to? Yes. Any other worms.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Hearing. I have big ears! They're like radar dishes!

When was the last time you had a cavity? Never. Mommy and Daddy poke at me with the toothbrush a lot though.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Milkbones.

MISC-OLOGY:

If it were possible, would you like to know the day you're going to die? No. I'm not allowed to die.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Uno.

How do you express your artistic side? Peeing in interesting patterns.

What color do you think you look best in? Pink.

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? Would that be a place where I can only go out when someone is watching me and I'm penned up by walls and fences most the time? Maybe other people would decide when and what I eat and sometimes they'd put me in a cage? I think I already live in one!

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Cat poop. But that wasn't really a mistake.

If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? I don't know any of my relatives....

How often do you go to church? Church? What's that?

Have you ever saved someone's life? Sure. I was walking by a well one day when I happened to look down and see a little boy named Timmy. I ran and got Mommy and Daddy and after I barked my message to them, we saved him!

Has someone ever saved yours? Mommy and Daddy when they got me from the Oscar Mayer plant.

DARE-OLOGY:

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? No. I'm scared of cars and I'm not allowed out without my collar.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? I kissie Fang all the time for free!

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? I don't have fingers.

Would you never blog again for $50,000? No.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Only Dog Fancy.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? No, but ask Fang. She'll eat anything. Put it on a pile of cat poop and she'll be set.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? I weigh 12 pounds. How would I manage that?

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? I'd just catch mites from Fang. Then I'll go bald without all that effort.

.Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? No. I like the Dog Whisperer.